family pic

family pic

Friday, February 25, 2011

Laban Turns 11

Laban turned 11 on the 17th... beings it was a busy day and we were having vacation the following week he decided to do a sleepover then... But being the lucky guy he is, he ended up with three "parties".. The first was on his b-day we had extra company so ended up eating an ice-cream cake... Then on Sunday we had the Chocolate Angel Food Cake above (I will post the recipe soon) at my parents... On Tuesday he had his friends over for the night.. We had homemade pizza and ice-cream sundaes for dessert! Spoiled kid, but I guess you only turn 11 once! ;)
This pic was awhile ago

Landing the jump, snowboarding out back w/ his friends..

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Roasted Vegetables...

I made these awhile ago to complement BBQ ribs.. and boy did they! This is my Aunt Peggy's recipe, but I changed a couple things to suit our family's taste.. Feel free to mix different veggies in as all families are different!

Roasted Vegetables

5 yukon gold potatoes, scrubbed and diced  (I sometimes use baby red)
1 head of broccoli, cut into florets
2 carrots, peeled and cut into 1 1/2 inch strips
1/2 red pepper, cut into strips (more or less as you like)
1 small onion, sliced

1/2 cup olive oil
5 garlic cloves, minced
1 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. pepper
1 TBSP dried dill

Toss with veggies and place all in a baking sheet with sides. Bake in a hot oven (I do 425) for about 45 minutes, stirring once halfway through... Enjoy!!

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

An Unwelcome Guest...

So last week I had just gone back to bed after getting Tim's breakfast. He had gone out to start the pickup then comes back in and asks "what do you do about skunks?" What? The weather had warmed up a little so the animals decided to come out and a skunk decided he wanted to move into our garage! Oh boy... Tim had to leave for work and so when the kids got up, I sent Tyrel out to see if he was still there... Yup, he is!! Kids left for school and I am hoping he will just leave already tho the dog must be making him nervous... So after awhile I go out and peek.. No skunk! Yay, I go about my day and get ready to leave. I was going to pick up lunch and bring it over to my aunts house.. Well I thought Brandt smelled so I checked his diaper and sure enough!! Headed to the bedroom to change him and as I walked into the dining room I smelled skunk.. Oh no it sprayed!! I went to look out the window and let out a shreak.... there he was:
Mr Stinky himself... right in front of the door I needed to go out of! I scared Brandt when I screeched and so had to calm him down by talking about the "skunky"!  What to do, what to do? The skunk was petrified and kept backing up looking for somewhere to hide from the big bad dog!  So I went and hollered for the dog and got him in the back room... We watched out the window and pretty soon the skunk waddled off around the snowbank... Ok we can leave now! We got ready, let the dog out, and headed out the door... I thought I heard something so leaned down and peeked in the doghouse.. Well the skunk was sitting there staring back at me.. Oh ya I ran!! He was gone when we came back later, but appeared again yesterday... He is not a problem anymore, tho the barn smells nasty!!!

Monday, February 14, 2011

Who Am I?

"Who am I, O Lord God? And what is my house, that you have brought me this far?"
2 Samuel 7:18b

I can't help, but feel a bit guilty that I got my miracle and yet there are others that are hurting so bad right now.. I guess it wasn't that long ago when it was me (not the same circumstances, but hurting nonetheless) and I was wondering "why? what's the point?" Now here I am today with my little man.. Anyway now that I have my story behind my title out of the way, you may just get bored with me! I will blog about life here at home, sometimes post recipes, pictures, and tidbits of interesting (or not so interesting) thoughts. So stick around if ya like!

Thursday, February 10, 2011

My Mourning Turned Into Dancing...

Of course the first few months of my pregnancy I was anxious... One day I was reading in a devotional I had received from my secret sister (more on that another time) and I turned to a page that said this:

           Through my divine power, I have given you everything you need for life and godliness.
      Don't limit me to your previous experiences; I want to do new things in your life.
         My plans are far beyond your wildest dreams!
Your Faithful God

Well as you can guess, I cried and cried! It doesn't matter what I had gone through before, it doesn't necessarily mean it will happen again.. God can do anything he wants to do! WOW I had needed that... Anyway to continue on with my miracle story... I was due April 8th 2010... The 8th came and went nothing happening... I was going to attempt a VBAC and have this baby "naturally".. Well on the 12th I went in for my OB appointment and the doc stripped my membranes.. I was having mild contractions before that and they continued on after.. That evening as we timed the contractions they were getting closer together so we decided to head to the hospital... We arrived and I really wasn't dilated much, maybe 2 cm.. They put me on the monitor and watched for awhile.. Nothing much happening so they said I could go home if I wanted.. I was nervous about that so we opted to just stay under observation.. No sooner had the nurse walked out of the room and my water broke... The night passed slowly w/ little sleep and little change.. By morning I was tired and ready to get the show on the road.. We would walk and contractions would pick up and get harder.. Ok, maybe we are getting somewhere now! Contractions are 3 minutes apart for an hour and a half..then 15 minutes..20 minutes.. Argh, this is getting annoying! Of course, beings it is a VBAC they can't put me on pitocin, so I went all day going through this... Afternoon rolls around and the doctor comes in to give me my options... By then I was tired and uneasy about going on (I know there are people who think I should have waited)so I told him, "I just want to hold my baby!".. So off to the operating room, where Brandt Matthew was born at 4:46 PM weighing 7lbs and 7 oz.. When the doc said his cord was around his neck and he really hadn't dropped yet, I was reassured of my decision! What an awesome feeling, to hold  MY baby after so many years and losses! I was in awe then and still am today as my 10 month old son plays right here beside me and gives me a grin! We serve an awesome God!

The little miracle!

 The poem I wrote to send out w/ his birth announcements:

Our Miracle

As we sit here gazing down at you
Our little man, a dream come true
A precious one, so soft and sweet
With tiny hands and tiny feet
T’was not so long ago, you see
We thought this dream would never be
Of having you, oh little one
Yet here you are, our darling son
A cherished gift from God above
A treasure true, wrapped in His love
Our arms are full, our hearts overflow
As we behold you Brandt, Our Miracle!


Mommy and Baby ready to go home..


                                        My handsome boy!!


You have turned for me my mourning into dancing;
You have put off my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness,
To the end that my glory may sing praise to You and not be silent.
O Lord my God, I will give thanks to You forever.
Psalm 30:11-12

here he is today at 10 months

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Miracles DO happen..

And so after I hit bottom I kind of gave up.. I decided that we obviously couldn't afford the testing and I couldn't get pregnant because the baby would just die.... So I resigned myself to the fact that we were going to just be a family of 6... I told God if He wanted us to have a baby then He would have to do it or I needed to hear a voice saying, "It's time!" And then I went on with my living.. A few months later I was late... My blood ran cold and I panicked.. I remember crying out to God, "please just let me start cuz I can't go through a loss again"... Well time went by and still no period.. I obsessed about it, ate, breathed, and slept baby.. This time I did feel pregnant tho and would comfort myself with that, but still I was a nervous wreck.. I told Tim I wanted to go into a coma for 6 weeks so I would either be past my danger zone or would have lost baby and could move on.. Time crept by, 7, 8, 9, 10 weeks!! Still pregnant.. 11, 12, 13, 14 weeks.. We told the kids, they were beyond excited! 15 and 16 weeks.. we told the world, and they were excited! I saw baby at 16 weeks and was ecstatic, I drove home that day praising God.. If I wasn't driving I probably would have danced down the street.. I knew how King David felt when the ark of  the covenant was brought back to Jerusalem in 2 Samuel chapter 6. I was beyond amazed and in awe that God would bless me with a baby even when I was so angry with Him. I felt so loved by Him!... During my pregnancy I went through times of sheer terror and times of complete trust. It was definitely a huge spectrum of emotions I endured. I wanted time to hurry up so I could hold baby and my body couldn't hurt him/her... It was a growing time for me and not just my body! :)... I finally really believed Matthew 19:26 when it says "with God all things are possible" I had always known that in my head, but didn't truly think God would work a miracle in my life.. Tune in next time to hear... the birth story of our little miracle!

Monday, February 7, 2011

My downward spiral into despair...

It all started out normally enough.. Our youngest was almost 3 and we found out we were expecting a baby... Well about a week later I knew I was going to lose the baby.. Ok, that is farely common, miscarriage happens to alot of women, plus we were moving, so life went on. Well about 8 months later I found out I was pregnant again, but started to bleed right away.. I guess I had what is called a "chemical pregnancy", where we would have just thought it was a late period if we didn't take a test... Again, I was ok w/ it or so I thought. Until I was driving down the road one day and just sobbed and sobbed in mourning for my two babies! A month went by and we took another test, positive again! We thought for sure this one would be ok, after all who has three miscarriages in a row? A few weeks went by, everything was going ok, and then I started spotting... Not again!! This time I called the doctor.. I went in, they took blood and checked me out.. I had to come back to get more blood drawn and that was when they said, yes I was losing this baby too!!! So back and forth I went to get my blood drawn to make sure my levels went down.. This lasted for five weeks!! Yes, I said FIVE weeks, and believe me it was an emotional roller coaster. One time they even called to tell me my levels went up, so I had to go back in for another checkup.. I wonder if out of sheer willpower I was determined to hold on to that baby? Anyway at that time we decided it was probably better to just wait awhile, after all we were moving across country and my body needed to get over the losses. So we moved, got settled, and decided to try again... Pregnant again, this time it was gonna work! Oh ya!! BUT...... a few weeks later the bleeding started.. Off to the doctor I went and I was determined to find out what was going on.. Well after all the bloodwork, there was no obvious reasons as to why I kept miscarrying. So they sent me to a fertility specialist.. I went to the consult visit and they wanted to do different testing, but we didn't have health insurance, (and it would be expensive) so I opted to wait until we did... Time went by and still no health insurance so we thought maybe everything would be ok if we tried again.. After all, I felt fine and like my old self! This time I ended up in the ER in horrible pain and, of course,  lost that baby too.. Months went by and we found out again that I was excpecting and this time it was looking better... I made it to 9 weeks when the bleeding started and my heart shattered! I was home alone w/ the kids (Tim was on a stayaway for work) and going through labor (6 hrs).. It was not fun at all, but I did feel God there, holding me up, and giving me strength.  I went through moments of being ok, but then times of great sorrow..Wondering, why God would take away my babies when I wanted them so bad, yet He gives babies to some people that don't even want them.. When our whole family loves babies and would all welcome one!.. It got so bad that I couldn't look at pregnant women or newborn babies. That when I heard about someone being pregnant (not everybody, but most) I could not be excited and my heart felt cold. It was almost like I had no feelings left. And then, in the springtime of 2009 was the final blow, I was 5 days late and thinking maybe by some miracle God let me get pregnant, but nope, I was just late.. The next day I was reading blogs I follow and read about somebody expecting.. That was when I shattered.. I sobbed and sobbed.. I cried out in anguish to God, screaming in my heart at Him.. "How could you do this to me, You must hate me!!" I have never been so consumed with anger and despair as I was that day and I hope never to go through that again! It was one of the worst days of my life, to feel so far from and unloved by God was sheer agony.....BUT.. the story doesn't end there my friends.. To be Continued....... P.S. the miscarriages all happened in a 3 year period

Friday, February 4, 2011

Back to the begining..

In order for you to understand the fullness of our miracle I need to take you way back... So here goes: I met Tim and fell in love when I was farely young.. We got married a year later when I was still young.. (that is a whole different topic that I shall have to get to some other day) 9 1/2 months later we welcomed a beautiful baby boy into our family.. Fast forward 13 1/2 months and we brought home a darling daughter to join our little brood.. Now all we needed was a dog to have the "traditional" family! LOL Life was great and we gladly welcomed baby number 3, 20 months later.. He came home w/ the most hair I have seen on a baby! :) So life goes on and 18 1/2 months later we had baby #4.. Now this little guy came in a scary way.. You see, I had placenta previa, but didn't know it.. How could I not, you ask? Well we didn't have an ultrasound and God surely watched out for me! A week before my due date I started to hemmorhage.. That is the scariest feeling in the world, to feel it coming, but being able to do NOTHING to stop it!! Needless to say Shiloh was born 2 hours after the 911 call and was perfectly healthy! Sooo we had four beautiful children the oldest being 4 and a busy life, but it wasn't to many years later we knew something was wrong.. What you ask? Stay tuned........ until next time, God be with you!!    P.S. we did get a dog too!

Thursday, February 3, 2011

I Am Here

I decided to try blogging on here instead of on xanga as I wrote in my last post there how disgusted I am w/ their website. Also figured I would join everybody else over here.. I decided to title my page after my little miracle Brandt and someday I may post my whole story of how that all came to be and how I grew through that..(tho most of you know it already) I am hoping my title doesn't bother some people that are going through hard times right now.. I really don't mean for it to and I am not a theologian so can't say why God gives some people miracles and not others.. Now that being said, I will say goodbye for now and someday write more!